Gabriella_2.2_NI

I have always said that I hate systems, especially the social systems because they hold people back from complete happiness and realization of life. The book Rethinking Relationships states, ''Your personal order must fit within the social order or you will be judged odd or even mentally disturbed.'' When I was a leader at church, I was dating a guy who was a leader too, and I broke up with him because I had feelings for another person. I believe I did the right thing because I was being sincere with him and myself. Otherwise, I would have been practicing for my acting classes because I did not love him, and if I was his girlfriend I had to act like I was in love and that I actually cared about the relationship. This is just another example of what society expects us to do. If you are dating somebody is because you feel chemistry, deep love, sympathy, and that feeling that makes you forget the whole world. Once you feel you are attracted to somebody else it means that your beloved lacks what the other person owns. According to society, we cannot date two people at the same time. I could have perfectly done that, but I knew that it was not going to look good to my fellow church leaders and members. So I decided to break up with him, and talk to the other person who I was interested in. Nonetheless, society was not pleased with my decisions and actions. Some leaders talked with me about what happened, and they told me that a church leader cannot end a relationship one day, and start another one next month because it did not reflect a good testimony. I was very pissed off and upset because I believe that nobody they should interfere in one's life and decisions. However, it was not about me but about the whole church identity. If people see a Christian leader who is not bahaving as expected, they will  not judge him or her but the church as a whole. People tend to be negative and  prejudiced, and I hate that we have to live according to someone else's standards. Even when we are people who stand for our beliefs and act originally, we are going to be always bound to the fact that in order to survive , to be employed, to be accepted, to be loved, to be respected, we have to fit in the social order.