Samantha_2_DQ5

Does not involve speech:

• I play clarinet.
• I dance.
• I read a lot.

Does involve speech:

• The music I listen to.
• I speak my mind about most things.
• I try to greet anyone I may know on my way to different places around campus.

I think I don't present myself as having a double standard, but I do feel that there is still some uncertainty about myself. I don't fake anything to anyone. I'm pretty straight forward about who I am, and I feel that if you don't like the way I am then there's no reason for you to be in my life.

Roman_Ch2_DQ5

Well coming from any of my friends, I would be labeled as a good person, which I believe is true. But sometimes coming from my family, they would sometimes say that I am self-centered, which I dont think I am. I would agree with what my friends would say but deep down I know that my family members are the ones who know me more, which confuses me as an individual. As far as my actions, I do as I say and I dont believe that I am too hypocritical

Roman_CH1_DQ4

Yes, I have been in an unfair relationship and continued to engage into in, even knowing thst it was not fully fair for the other person. The problem is, that sometimes you know that your wrong, but you can not always stop yourself from doing the things your doing, and if the other person still continues to stand by you, it is hard to not want to keep them around. You want to do the right thing but if things are going in your favor you are not the unhappy person, therefore you dont have issues with the current situation, until karma hits you. Then you regret it

Roman_CH1_DQ3

I do not believe that anything is wrong with using college aged students to use in research about relationships. I believe that we are fully aware of the real world and how things work in relationships and love. With that said, people should be aware that we are not perfect, and there are some people in our age range that have never been in serious relationsips before, therefore if people were to use statistics to prove a point, they might not be fully accurate

roman_CH1_DQ2

Parents should not be arranged by parents, but I do believe that there is good reasoning behind them approving of it. In the early stages of marriage, couples often tend to rely on their parents for a lot of thingd and it would be harder to live without the support of the people who raised you. I have always had freedom in my romantic choices until that particular individual hurt me, then I was warned about going back. I am currently single so I do not have a partner, but the longest distance that I had before meeting was not very far at all

Roman_DQ1

I firmly believe that the reason the divorce rate is s high in the US is because it is not frowned upon near as heavily than it is in India. I also believe that people are more true to their religion in Foreign countries such as India, and they will not be looked at the same if they were to turn their backs against the person they once called their husband or wife, its like breaking a law there. People in the United States can also regroup their lives and even benefit from divorce sometimes, such as financial compensation and other things.

alex ch1 5 DQ

No it is never right to date two people at the sme time. if your in a relationship with someone you shold be true to them and if its not working out or if yall are geting in fights then talk about it and try to find better ways to get along. over all in my upinon cheeting on someone is low and peritty disrispeciful and there rilly no good ending to it.
I dont know a lot abot relational jealousy. but i do know jealousy of any kind in a relationship can be a big problem.

Anne_2.1_DQ1

I was born and raised Catholic, but do not go to church as much as I should, but still respect my religion. Which is how I treat other people also. As my kindergarden teacher would say, "Treat people how you want to trewated," but sometimes that does not work out. Yes, People do make mistakes and it may cause conflict, but if you truly think about the conflict it may be a truly embarrassing conflict to begin with. Having double standards or being uncertain about yourself is very hard to come at ease with yourself only becasue you do not do not want everyone to think that you are a loser when everyone else is probably thinking the same way you are.

Cole_2.1_NI

Within Chapter 2, the subtitle Social Order and Relational Appropriateness states that relationships must be done "properly, politely, and in ways that respect other people's needs not to be insulted." People seem to interpret this as an excuse to be two-faced. Because so many people have alter egos that they deem necessary to maintain a social order, such personas are considered the norm. So why is it that people who state their true intentions and feelings are usually either grouped in with the psychos, senile elders, and social misfits? Personally, I follow the old cliché: "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." In this fashion, I am able to avoid being two-faced for the most part, but this primarily applies for people I am not very close to which raises a second question. If someone deviates from the common accepted practice of manners, even around friends or family as most people do, should they (in this respect) be considered socially retarded?

Gabriella__1.5__DQ

The ones that do not involve speech:
- how hard I work
- how much time I study
- My GPA
- how often I smile
-the way I dress
-the way I comb my hair
-the way I walk
-when I pray individually and to myself before eating at the caf
-how organized or disorganized my room is
-the objects with which I decorate my room
-how loud I laugh
-when I listen attentively to people when they are talking to me
-how involved I am with extracurricular activities
- the way I manage my money
-when I go to church
-who are my friend
-who I date
-the kind of music I listen to

The ones that do involve speech:
-the way I introduce myself
-the way I talk about my short and long term goals
-the way I greet people I just met
-what kind of language I use in my everyday conversations
-my voice tone
-how positive and optimistic my selection of words are

Of course, most people has attitude dissonance. Sometimes I say things which I believe to be true, and then I end up doing the contrary. However, we are not perfect and at the end we end up giving up one of the areas in order to be loyal to one. As the Bible says, we cannot serve simultaneously two masters. The areas I know that are in conflict, and might present me as a person of double standards are that I listen to secular music, and that I hang around people who like to have ''too much fun'' when I say I'm a Christian.

Question:
Is tolerable to have an attitude dissonance or is it considered hypocrisy by our present society?

Annabel_2.1_I

In the book it states that when people become boyfriends or girlfriends they have to play the role and behave. My first thought about this statement was that I did not agree, because in a way being a boyfriend or girlfriend to somebody should make it easy to behave and be the person that the other wants. But, when relationships grow over time I did see the point of playing the role and behaving. I agree now with this statement. After relationships surpass the cupcake stage where the two people are all in love and giddy, they probably need to behave and play the role. The relationship gets a little hard because now everything is not butterflies and rainbows. To be in a relationship can be hard and both people do have to play their role as boyfriend or girlfriend. And you do have to behave a certain way in order to make the relationship work. So when girls and boys want the title of girlfriend and boyfriend they are accepting to play the role.

Andrea_2_DQ5

Means that do not involve speech:

- I am a Walton Scholar
- I am a member of Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE)
- I have been a member of Amnesty International
- I wear charms with images of saints or Virgins in them
- I like to take pictures or having people take pictures of me

Means that involve speech:

- I write poetry
- I am on different social networks like Facebook, Twitter & Tumblr
- I often talk to my family

I believe I am pretty consistent with the way I show myself to others, I don't really appreciate hypocrisy, double standards or two-faced people; so I try not to be that way either with others. Of course, it also depends on the level of disclosure that exists in the relationship with that person and how trustworthy I believe the other person is; the more the other person knows about me the more his or her opinion about me will change.

Christian_2_1_DQ_1

Values and Visions

Means that do not involve speech

I like to smile a lot

I am one of the leaders of CCM (Catholic Campus Ministries)

I am a Walton Scholar

The way a get along with my friends

I am a helpful person

Means that do involve speech

            When asked for advice, I offer my point of view

            I do express when I disagree about something, and again express my point of view

               

I’m the kind of person who does not mess with others, I consider that I am fair and respectful towards others; thus, I expect others to be the same way towards me. However, I do have friends who like to tease me, and yes I will tolerate it and even play along sometimes, there are times in which you just laugh; however, when it’s reached the point where it is too much, I just tell them to shut up J. I think we all have different characteristics, and tend to react differently depending on the situation; thus, it can be possible that sometimes the ways in which we present ourselves may be in conflict, but I do not believe that this conflict has to be necessarily related to having double standards. After all, we are complex beings. Yes, we have a defined personality, but we may act or react differently depending on who we are with because every person you have a relationship with is different. 

Fernando_2_DQ5

Means that do not involve speech:

• I am part of BCM´s leadership
• I am part of the worship team at First Baptist Church
• I am a youth leader at First Baptist Church
• I do worship in Alpha & Omega and Amisadai
• I am part of the Walton Scholarship Program
• I am a very happy person
• I talk almost every day with my Mom and Dad

Means that  involve speech:

• I am express my thoughts very firmly
• I share about God´s gospel with my friends and people that I do not know
• I try to help others when I can
• I don´t like to talk about dirty topics with my friends
• I ask my friends not to say dirty jokes when I am around

 Honestly, I do believe that sometimes my actions have not met the values that I would like to show others I have. I´d like to think that sometimes, when I am struggling with a personal test, I have a hard time with my feelings and thoughts and later on with the way I express myself. I can talk about last year, I went through a really hard time in my life and it was very hard to me to show myself as happy as I usually am and to help others that were in distress. Nonetheless, that time in my life has passed, and  I feel better regarding the control I have over my emotions, and thoughts, in order to be able to live according to what I profess.  I must say that I don´t think that none of my actions  or attitudes have made me come across as a double personality person, because everyone that knew me, knew what I was going through, so they kind of  imagined or guessed the reason of my attitudes.

Melody_2.1_NI

In this chapter, Steve Duck mentioned that social order defines for us and basically instructs us on what a good relationship is like while personal order is a more personal understanding and definition of what a good relationship would look like for us. I like that he creates the distinction between both social order and personal order. I find that many people tend to forget about personal order. Often times, we receive so much "advice" and opinions from others about what our relationships should look like, what we should do, and what we shouldn't do. And for people who struggle with wanting very much to please others, they often forget that it is not at all necessary to take everyone's advice (it's probably impossible actually). It is important that those individuals recognize the importance of deciding for themselves what would work for them to have a successful relationship, instead of blindly following what others tell them would work. People can advise us all they want, but in the end, we are the ones who have to live with the decisions that we make about our relationships, not them.

Corey_2.1_DQ5

I think that my attendance in church and strong Christian beliefs are the root of all of who I am. The way I carry myself, the way I treat people, the way I go about my daily life, and other outward expressions that are just a part of me help to show who I am and what I stand for. I also am human. I cuss occasionally, laugh at situations that are truly not funny, and sometimes don't treat people with the respect I should. I do believe that some of my actions may lead people to believe that I have double standards.

I think that basically everyone has this same dilemma though. It's not that we have double standards, it's that we are human. No one is perfect and can do everything to "code." With this being said, I will happily be the first to admit what I do and what I say doesn't ALWAYS match up.

Dalton_2_DQ5_NQ

Displaying your views and values over means that do and do not involve speech should correlate and be the same. Just because your entire family can see your Facebook doesn't mean that you should say that you're a Christian with conservative views. If you don't really believe what you write or say then why show that to the world? I choose to be the same over nonverbal and verbal means of communication. I dislike two faced people, and most people say they dislike them as well. Is it possible that most people saying that they don't like two faced people are being hypocrites and being two faced at that time?

Tyler_2_DQ#5_NQ

   Without speech I present my self as a person who has obviously lost his mind. This being because my mind switches thoughts so quickly and to those thoughts I impulsively respond. Now with speech I may still come across as a person that is a little off at times but once my fellow citizens get use to my manner of speech and movement they soon begin to realize that there is more to me than just what they see or hear.

   Now my question is a similar idea but to be answered differently. Have you ever know of a person that thought of themselves and presented themselves as being one way but once you hang around them long enough you realize the in reality they are nothing like that at all?

DJ_2.1_NI

     The book refers to songs and their influence on our social anticipations and understanding of relationships. However these relationships being referred to are between two people, but what about our relationship with our individual God? I've noticed an overwhelming difference in music referring to an earthly relationship, and that referring to the heavenly one. The songs referring to an earthly relationship seem to either be negative or private. In other words the artists are talking about breakups cheating partners and abusive partners, or they're referring to more intimate times in the relationship. On the other hand when I hear songs referring to a heavenly relationship the songs are powerful in a way, they are never depressing nor in any way negative about the relationship. This leads me to believe that maybe we should focus a little more on our relationship with our God. Now we still should maintain relationships with our fellow man but perhaps make that relationship more God centered. Take for example the song "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley, is reference to what I believe is a relationship come to an end. While the song "Made to Love" by Toby Mac, is about how God made us so that we could love him. These two songs are very different not only in age and purpose but also in style. But both songs refer to relationships one being earthly, the other heavenly.

Becca_2_DQ5

For my blog, I didn't write an exact list, but I did work on discovering the meaning of communication in my life. I took it from a religious standpoint since that is how I have been raised!

There are many things that I do that set me apart from others. I have been raised in church my whole life, and I know that sometimes your actions will be the only Bible that some people ever read. 

I didn't have the best influence of friends when I was in middle and high school except for my best friend, my youth minister. The very first sermon that I heard him preached talked about his past. He didn't make the best decisions, but that is what developed his testimony. He then went on to say how he has yet to hear a person that has stayed strong, not faltered, and is proud to say that is their testimony. Most people believe that testimonies only come from people with dark pasts, but bright pasts bring encouragement and heaven closer to earth. I took this as a personal challenge. It was evident to me that I was not made to do drugs, drink, party, and go wild, but the world brings those temptations to us. 

I chose to develop relationships through living out my morals. I have seen people be a goodie two shoes around certain people, but I developed knowledge knowing that it gets you nowhere.  

Yes, I have made some mistakes that I am not proud of, but there are somethings that I choose not to do because I have developed my own path.  People will shoot me down, but I choose to get back up. People will have uncertainty about me and I will as well, but I choose to be faithful. My morals are from a religious background, and this right now might be a speech, but hopefully you will hang around me knowing that there is something different than me. That was one of my biggest deciding factors about becoming a Christian. It wasn't because of the fact that I had to, but my youth minister had something that I wanted. He had an overwhelming feeling of love that didn't run dry, and his actions affected my life forever in the best way possible. 

This however can have a negative affect. Being so much a church girl, I did come here wanting to be a different person. I wanted to use vocabulary words that the preacher wouldn't approve of, and have converstions that I wasn't ready for. This is one of those things that we have to watch for. Do you label yourself as one person and then be another? Are your actions putting a negative vibe on others?

Alix_2_DQ5

Do Not:

 

1. Doing homework while others are "having fun"
2. Playing tennis
3. Eating certain foods
4. The music I listen to
5. I exercise regularly
6. I own lots of green :)

 

Do:

 

1. Conveying my ideas or thoughts about a topic in class
2. Giving a speech about a topic
3. Through my music/raps
4. Talking to friends throughout my day
5. I help by either tutoring, or working through school problems with others

 

I don't feel these different styles of communicating, those being nonverbal and verbal, contradict each other at all. We live today where a bunch of communication is nonverbal. You either understand how someone is feeling, or you know that it's time to have some fun. Whatever the case may be, nonverbal communication is just as present as verbal communication. I, myself don't feel any uncertainty with my ways of communicating and I surely don't feel like I present myself that shows others that I have this lack of diligence or inner strength. I live by those standards, conveying myself as a thoughtful, intelligent, well-rounded individual.



Naima_2.5_DQ

MEANS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE SPEECH:

-I play piano at church

-I am part of BCM

-I hold three work study positions

-I love to dance

-I am very giggly 

-I dislike people who think they are better than the rest of people, or who look down upon other people

-I turn in my homework in time

-I like to work out

-I like to spend time with family and friends

-I have lots of Razorback stuff in my room

MEANS THAT INVOLVE SPEECH:

-I share my thoughts on different issues with my friends

-I talk about God with family and friends

-I try to be helpful and greet peers that are looking for help while I'm working

-I own a Twitter account where I voice my thoughts 

I think that at times my actions have not necessarily matched my values. Especially, going through college has been a test for my values and beliefs. I have experienced cognitive dissonance at times, when my thoughts do not match my actions. But no one is perfect!! Luckily, I always get back on track and try to stick to what matters the most to me, which are the values that I have been taught by my parents and what God wants from me. At some point in life, I have questioned some of my beliefs and values, but this process has just helped me establish and cement my values. 

I think that society tends to put labels on us and then is when the conflict appears. I do believe that it is important to stick to what we believe, even though that may seem crazy for other people. In college we experience so many things, and meet so many people that may have an influence over us. The key is to stay true to ourselves. 

There's a Bible verse that always reminds me that I cannot be two Naimas. Revelation 3:16 reads, "O, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." I think that this verse not only applies to our relationship with God, but also to our relationship with other people. I don't think our friends will trust us if we say something, and then act differently. We have to be either hot or cold, but cannot be both.

Jwalls_DQ_7

Things that do not have a name aren't  meant to have a name, somethings are just better that way some things do better with having a name that is just given not something that is established.

Jwalls_DQ_6

I do have some reserves about PDA, i do not think that it is cool when its done out in the open like in a plaza or in a park or something like that, but i mean if its done in a less volumed environment away from the majority of the individuals in that given public place i don't have a problem with it, and furthermore i would disagree with it being done in a manner that would be closer to sex than a kiss.

Jwalls_2_DQ_5

I think personally that what a person says is a very clear glimpse into who they are as a person, however at the same time i do recognize the fact that people say things that they regret, i think this is a response to the ever changing nature of the human being as a whole and i regard it as a intricate part of who i am personally.

Jwalls_DQ_4

I believe that although unfair relationships do exist, I think that relationships are not naturally unfair, i think the people within theses relationships make them unfair and that it ultimately falls upon the people within that relationship to deal with the situation appropriately.

alex 1 OL 4

To be honest im not rilly sher on thin one but i will try to anser it the best i can. no i  have never presented a relationship if it was fair when i knew that it wasn't. that being a romantic relationship or just good friends. But i do know that relationships cant be forced people cant just jump wright into somthing like that. most of the good relationships happed do to some kind of quwisdence.I think most everyone wants to have a fair relationship. but overall most people mite treat a relations hiplike it is fair even though it is no t. But personaly i dont beleve that ive ever done that.

Mary_1_DQ4

Personally I think that everyone has treated a relationship as fair even if they knew it wasn't. Whether it was purposeful or subconsciously and then we just ignored it I think we've all done it. I know I have. I didn't purposefully say to myself, "if I do this then we will have an unequal and unfair relationship. Sounds like a plan." It just happened and slowly as we continued our friendship I began noticing small things, yet I continued on until I could find a way to try and make it fair for both of us. The key to an unfair relationship is finding a way to fix it (if you want to continue on with the relationship that is!)

Gabriella_1_DQ4

Yes, I did present a relationship as fair, when I completely knew it was not; however it happened at the very end. When I was in my Junior year of highschool, I was dating a guy I met in church. He was the man that any woman would wish to have. He was a gentlemen, God-oriented, loyal, sincere, caring, and a lovely musician. However, humankind is too complex, and for some reason women tend to fall for those who have a swag, those who are not Mr. goody-two-shoes. Anyways, I was a dancer for a choreographic group back in Honduras, and I met this other male dancer while I was dating the church guy. I started spending a lot of time with him since he was my dance partner, and we ended liking each other. I pretended that my relationship with my boyfriend was great, and that I was in love with him, when I really wasn't. I know I was very unfair with his feelings, but I did not know if it was the right thing to break up with him just because another guy showed up in my life. I did not feel what I used to feel with my boyfriend anymore but acted like everything was okay, and it only made everything worst becuase the connection between the dancer and me was growing rapidly. Finally, one day after church, I could not hold it anymore, and I told my boyfriend I wanted to break up with him. He did not deserve the way I told him things, but that is what happens when you are not real with yourself and others promptly.

Andrea_1_DQ4

In order to answer this question I believe it is necessary to clarify the meaning of fair, which according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary it's something "marked by impartiality and honesty: free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism". Thus, if what the book is asking is that if I have ever presented a relationship as if there was no sign of favoritism, self-interest or prejudice, even though I knew that it wasn't like that; then yeah, I have done this. The last relationship I was involved in, communication was always the missing piece, and because of that I had a very different way of viewing the relationship than the one the other person had. I would try to ignore all the bad attitudes, disagreements and emptiness, and pretend everything was ok with the simple excuse that it would "get better". This is what usually happens in relationships that aren't fair, all the feelings and emotions that emerge from it sooner or later blind the person, and won't let them see what is really happening.    

Annabel_1_DQ4

I would like to think that most people will stick up for their friends. Of course it can get confusing when your friend is fighting over something that you don’t agree with or think is fair. I would like to say that every time that my friend was presenting an unfair situation I would not agree with them. But I have presented a relationship as if it were fair though I knew it wasn’t because of my relationship with my friend. I usually don’t do that because that is not right of me to do so or let the friend think that what they are doing is right, but, sometimes I do pick the relationship with my friends over what is unfair.

Naima_1_DQ4

I will be honest and go ahead and say that I have been in an unfair relationship in which I  did not give my 100%. I had a friend that was looking to become best friends with me, but I did not perceive her as a good friend. I kept hanging out with her and she started to believe that we were best friends, but deep inside I knew that she was not my best friend, and I never told her the truth. At times, she would drive me crazy and this one time I even said something very mean to her and she got her feelings hurt. After this, I talked to her and we figured that we were not very compatible. I regret having acted this way, but I am glad I could figure it out and work things out.

Christian_1_DQ_4

Have you ever presented a relationship as if it were fair when you kind of knew that it wasn't?

If this question refers to making believe that a relationship is working out when it is truly not, then, unfortunately,  I have presented a relationship as if it were fair when I knew it wasn't. However, I must say, it was not unfair on my part. I try to be as fair as possible, just because I treat others the way I would want them to treat me, thus I do the best I can to not hurt anybody.Why? because, I believe that issues and predicaments already do come with relationships when some differences arise between the two parties, so why would one bring up stuff to make the relationship stumble? And if so, why would someone stick with is as if it were all completely fine? I would say that, since, finding and receiving affection is a basic need for us humans, I do understand why people would rather think their relationship it working instead of throwing the towel: It is hard to aknowledge that the one person to whom you are emotionally attached (whether it be your boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, relative, etc) does not make the same effort that you make to work it out, therefore, you make yourself and others believe that the relationship it fair.

Fernando_1_DQ4

I don't think that I have had any unfair relationship, in any of my relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.  I firmly believe that asking for something that I would not give, in a relationship, is taking advantage of the other person. I must add that I may have been rude at someone else, while being in a relationship, but I am sure that I did not mean to take advantage of the other party, just because I always try to respect the golden rule. "Don't do to others what you don't want someone else do to you".

Samatha_1_DQ3&4

3.Using college age studets for research on relationships is wrong for the reason that we are still figuring out who we are. Theres not a college kid out there that will tell you they know exactly what they want in life or even a relationship when they first start school. When we start school we have an idea of what we want in a relationship, but we still don't fully understand what it takes to be in a true loving relationship. So testing us and doing research on our relationships is just a waste of time.

4.I've had several unfair relationships. I'm the type of person who tries my best to make things work no matter if its my family, friends, or even a special someone. I put more effort into relationships then the people I'm in them with. When it comes to my family its a pretty fair relationship I hear from each of them at least once a week if not more, but when it comes to friends from back home I feel as if the relationships become unfair as I reach out to them and get nothing in return.

Madeleine_1_DQ4

To my greatest knowledge, I have not had an unfair relationship whether it be family, friends, etc. I work hard to keep in touch with my family and they work hard to keep in touch with me. I put in a good effort to keep the friends I have and they return the same effort to continue staying friends with me. If a relationship feels unfair to you, confront the other person(s) and let them know how you feel.

Tyler_1_DQ#4

     I have never had a dating relationship that has consisted of one person doing all the work. However I have had friendships that have consisted of one friend (Me) doing all the work to keep the friendship together. I have been in so many situations where I was respectful and honest with my "friends" only to find out that they are not willing to do the same. I have always lived with the golden rule as the foundation of my friendships and have recently been able to find a group of friends that share this very same moral standing. I believe that in order to have a healthy relationship there should be and equal amount of giving and receiving in any relationship.

Corey_1_DQ4

I have had and continue to have many relationships in which I consider unfair. I am not the one that is being unfair, I am the one continuing the relationship even though it is very antagonistic towards me. Why someone might ask? My reason is because I believe that people are placed in my life and me in others for a reason. Whether I know the reason or even like it doesn't matter in the end. I have a purpose and I am willing to carry out that purpose no matter what! I just hope my enthusiasm and optimism makes the relationships in question fair someday!

DJ_1_DQ4

To my knowledge I have never been in an unfair relationship. I like to think that the other parties would talk with me in order to work out a compromise and the other way around. If a compromise is unobtainable then a mutual parting may serve more good than to continue the relationship.

Anne_1_DQ4

Relationships I have with people are fair no matter what they are to me. The reason why I have not had an unfair relationship because I would have talked to the person that was disrespecting me and understand why they think of our relationship in that way. I would never ask someone to do something that I know they would not do the same for me only because that is how you know that they truly care for you. You should enjoy the relationships with your friends, with your partner, or family members that you have a relationship with. You should enjoy the person that you are around, that is why you chose to be in a relationship in the first place.

Cole_1_DQ4

No, I have never outwardly presented a relationship as fair while thinking that it wasn't. Regardless of whether it is a relationship involving romance, friendship, or family bonds, I never ask for anything that I would not expect from myself. Different circumstances surround all individuals which can make some relationships tricky, but the universal ideal of fairness that keeps societies stable is also what determines if relationships will flourish or wither and die.

Becca_1_DQ4

Yes, I had an unfair relationship that did not work out behind closed doors, but I thought dealing with it would have been better than not having love in my life at all. That relationship was during all of my freshman year of high school, and he made me feel like a horrible person for wanting to be me. After our relationship ended I started to depend more on my faith in God and it has helped me to realize that true love still does exist.

One of the things that people will hear me say over and over again is that I choose to be naive and believe that there is a prince in shining armor out there for me. In the meantime I will choose to not change who I am for anyone else, I will not settle, my morals will stay the same, and I will be a princess for my heavenly father is the King of Kings.

Dalton_1_DQ4

A fair relationship in my opinion is one with respect, honesty, and loyalty. I've never personally presented a relationship as fair when it was not. If a friend or a girl I'm romantically involved with doesn't treat me fairly or I don't treat them fairly then we work out the problem or we go our separate ways. It's a simple solution to a common problem.

Tyler_1_DQ#3

 To be completely honest the only issue I see with using college- age students in research on romantic relationships is that most college- age students have not fully matured yet. I personally know that I have not fully matured and have plenty more to learn about what I need to make my relationships work. And I know I am not the only one that feels this way because as a college family and community we are all still growing and learning new thing that we can use to make our relationships better every day. Now if the research is on developement of romantic relationships over time then yes I believe that college- age students should be involved in the research pool.

Melody_1_DQ4

I had trouble interpreting the question itself. What does it mean for a relationship to be fair? What types of relationships are we talking about here? For this question, I'm assuming that the relationships being referred to are either friendships or romantic relationships (and in my opinion, romantic relationships are basically an expansion of friendship). My understanding of a relationship being fair is that there are equal amounts of communication and disclosure between both individuals in the relationship. This means that Person A would share as much about his or her life to Person B as Person B would to Person A. I think that relationships require to-and-fro communcation for it to be a functional and healthy relationship; therefore, if only one individual is sharing to the other about his or her life while the other only listens but shares nothing about his or her own life, the relationship would be imbalanced and thus unfair to both individuals.
As much as I hate to admit it, I believe I have presented a relationship as if it were fair before even though I knew it really wasn't. I found it very difficult to share details about my life and my emotions with this particular individual even though he was very open with me and consistently shared details about his life with me. I didn't really want to admit that I was the one making the relationship unfair, but I knew that it was not a balanced relationship.

Tyler_1_DQ#1&2

  I believe that the divorce rates in India are so low because thier of marriage is more of a treasured aspect of life in the country. In India marriage is more respected than it is in the United States. In many cases the United States population sees marraige as a goal instead of seeing it as a reward for having a successful relationship.

  I think that marriage being arranged depends on the culture in which the marrage is taking place. But, personally I don't believe in arranged marriage. I think thatas an adult or just for the pure fact that you are a growing individual you should have the right to choose who you marry. However I do believe that having parent approval is very inmportant when it comes to getting married.

  I have always had freedom in my romantic relationships and though that freedom have learned what I want and really dont want in romantic relationships. The girl that I am currently seeing and I share very similar interests and balance eachother out very well. Even though she is from Texas and I am from Arkansas, hahahahahaha. 

Madeleine_1_DQ3

As the book says, using college students as subjects only represents 5% of the lifespan, therefore, college students should not be used as the subjects. Most college students do not know what they want in life or in relationships. They are still finding out who they are and want they want as far as relationships are concerned. Because college students are still changing, what they want in a relationship one day may not be the same in a month. Since they are always changing, the research may not get accurate results, and besides, the statistics of a 18 or 19 year old student may not be the same of a 26 or 27 year old adult.

Alix_1_DQ4

To be honest I only have an idea of what this question is asking, but I will try to answer it to the best of my abilities. I think it's asking have a ever tried to begin or dive into a relationship that either wouldn't be equal for both parties or tried to manipulate a relationship in my favor and my answer would be yes... With my brother. My brother and I had an understanding of what was to be expected within and outside the household. As I write this it sounds horrible as if I am dominate and aggressive which is exactly the opposite of what's truly going on. My brother and I were really close and when I say I "manipulated" the relationship, I mean it positively for the both of us. For example, when cleaning, I'd have him do the things that I either hated doing, or that he was faster at to get the job done fast. It all works itself around into becoming a fair situation in the end. I think I answered the question given and if not... Well I digress.

alex ch 1 DQ

there is nothing wrong with using college age students in a research about romantic relationships. meny of the relationships or even merriges start during the college years.Even though alot of those relationships dont tend to last all that long becase they are still consitered kidds and they dont have alot of exprerence with love so no there is nothing wrong with using college age students for this but at the same time it can not be the mane part of the study becase many people dont know the ture meaning of love

Dalton_1_DQ3

The average person seeking higher education is roughly between the age of 18-24 for an undergraduate degree. That is not a sufficient age for researching romantic relationships. Nobody knows what they truly want until they know. It's an assumption that everyone makes. You could be 50, or 4. Love finds us all at odd times. A more appropriate age for a survey of this sort would be a larger range. It doesn't matter as much about the age as the person you ask.

Dalton_1_DQ1/2

When asked why Americans who have free choice choose to get divorced more often than those in India who have arranged marriages, I ponder why ask a question if you'd only give the answer within that question. Free choice has poisoned America's romanticized views of marriage. Many people in the U.S. don't value the power of marriage, or the responsibility that comes with it. With an arranged marriage the status quo is to stay with your spouse until death. Is it not better to love someone (or at least support them) forever than to leave them at the first sign of trouble?

Arranged marriages are expected in some cultures. For me to say that there should or should not be a large part of another person's beliefs. That being said, I believe that anyone has the right to choose who they'll end up with. I also believe that parents should be involved in the approval of the marriage. I personally have had a very free love life, full of happiness and I made the choices I wanted to make at the time. Despite differences in my current relationship, my girlfriend and I connect and balance each other well. She's a catholic girl, but she accepts my lack of religion. She's a wonderful, brilliant, beautiful little hispanic Texan who keeps me on my toes at all times. We lived six hours from each other until the lucky day her and I came to live together here.

Corey_1_DQ3

I find a lot wrong with using college-age students for research about romantic relationships. I feel that even though people my age are more mature than a younger age group, such as high school students, they still lack the amount of maturity to know exactly where they want to be in life and who they want to be with in said life, generally speaking. This is not to say that some haven't figured that out. I am merely saying that the inconsistency of the sample size leads me to believe that it wouldn't produce the most accurate results for the largest demographic. Also, it is hard to nail down the meaning of a true "romantic relationship" with college-age students due to the skewed idea of a relationship in today's world. If you have support or rebuttals to this post, feel free! My mind and ears(or eyes) are open!

Annabel_1_DQ3

Using college students for romantic relationship research is not necessarily bad because a lot of people marry someone out of college. However, just using college age students will not be very realistic for the research to relate to a majority of people. Most people who are in college are at a young age and still growing mentally as a person. If you take romantic research on a student who is 19 years old, it does not mean those statistics will be the same or accurate when that person turns 25. Its more than college students are not as mature; it’s the fact that they don’t have experience in a relationship when having a job, living on their own, and paying all the bills. When people are taking care of themselves then romantic research can be more meaningful to more people. Also, when people are young relationships are not really for the long haul. More people in college have relationships that don’t last, so I would not assume that most people in college are a good model of a romantic relationship.

jwalls_DQ_3

I believe that using college kids as a source of research for analyzing romantics is not wise, primarily because most college students are not in solid relationships, and out of the few that are in solid relationships they do not tend to last for long amounts of time. However if an individual could be located that was in a relationship and was mature enough information could be obtained.

Andrea_1_DQ1-3

Since religion plays a dominant role within Indian culture, the sole act of making a commitment such as marriage is greatly valued. Just as the book says, "Your relationships, then, somewhat surprisingly, are not just yours but society's."; in other words, society dictates how to handle relationships according to the cultural base and beliefs that this society has. In the case of India, where marriages are arranged, their beliefs determine how and when relationships will happen, giving more room for economic stability which for some people plays a key factor in the stability of their marriage. On the other side, in the United States having freedom of choosing who to get married to may indirectly affect the stability of the marriage. These relationships may no longer be based on economic stability or good family relations that the other partner may bring to the table when getting married. Instead, they are based on feelings, emotions, hunches, temporary factors that may not last long enough. 

Personally, I don't believe marriages should be neither approved nor arranged by parents, getting married with someone should be your a decision that you and only you can make. Of course, there should always be room for listening to what your parents may think about the person you want to spend a quite large amount of your time with. Even though some parents may not take their authority role seriously, it is always important as a parent to set some kind of guideline and educate their children in order to choose a proper partner. When I was younger I wasn't allowed to date, but once I got to college I became more independent and my parents became aware of that so I was allowed to date. I'm currently single, but my last partner (who was my first boyfriend as well) is also from Nicaragua, catholic and he won the same scholarship I got except he's going to another university two hours away from Ozarks.

Using college-age students in research about romantic relationships may not give the most accurate and complete analysis on relationships. Starting with the fact that some college students are just entering into the complicated world of relationships and may not have any clue on what a romantic relationship is about. Also, having a romantic relationship at that age may not be the biggest priority for some; thus, the person may not take the relationship seriously and even feel like the person is not in a real relationship. However, college years are usually for some the period where they meet their future partner so using people at this age might help to analyze the early stages of romantic relationships.  

jwalls_DQ_1&2

      I think  the reason that the divorce rate in India is so much lower than that of America is because of freedom. What I mean by that is in India, it is required, most of time in India it's understood that once matched with a mate you are forever tied to that individual for the duration of your life. Where as in America, most married individuals understand that all though marriage is a sacred and respected institution. It is not a finite institution we as Americans have more marital freedoms that that of India more freedoms means less respect and thus, more divorces.

     I do not think that marriages should be arranged in America, or in any place for that matter. I do however think that having parental approval is important.

alex 1 DQ

marriages shold never be forsed by anyone the reason why people get merred is becase they love eachother and there in love. its allways a good thing for your parants to aperve of the person that you plan to merry or the person you are merryed to but in the end you and her have the finall say in that.
if your husbend or wife is different then you it is usually not that bad depending how much different he or she is. I myself am not in a relationship with anyone but most of the people I,ve been with are usually not that diffint from me

DJ_1_DQ3

     I think the major issue with using college students in this type of research is the lack of experience. College students are going to college in order to gain more experience and knowledge that they can use both their professional and personal lives. Now not saying that every college student has not had experience in relationships only that they have not had enough on average to serve as reliable research subjects.
Me

Anne_1_DQ

Using college-age students in research about romantic relationships would not be a good idea to do only because college students do not know what they are looking for in another person. They might have a few key points on what they like and dislike in another person they want to be in a relationship with, but still not know what they fully want. It is hard to keep a relationship in college because people come from all over just to attend college, and when you are in a relationship you sometimes see yourself marrying them, but your futures do not match up together, and you both end up breaking up with one another. College students are looking to have fun and not have anything hold a person back from doing what they please. It is a time for a college student to grow up without their parents around, and learn how to be responsible and to accomplish challenges on their own also.

Anne_Sterba

Gabriella_1_DQ3

I personally believe that doing a research based on college students opinions about romantic relationships maybe be risky with regard to reliability and prejudice. Most college students are between the ages of 18 and 25, this means that they have not lived enough to voice a wise and reliable opinion due to the fact that they have not enough experience. This does not mean that college students are not mature because some of them are. However, the vast majority is still deciding what they are going to do with their lives, and they feel like they have the world in their hands.  They feel the need to do the most bizarre things they could think of because ‘‘you only live once…’’ So how can someone expect that college students are going to be able to provide a reliable guide on how romantic relationships should work? It is understandable that researchers would want to use college students for a research since they are spontaneous and self-disclosed to the point where they would not mind talking about their personal lives and relationships. For instance, there are many students who post their whole romantic drama on Twitter and Facebook. This fact reveals that if they are revealing their lives to the general public, they do not have the enough maturity to keep their relationship problems for themselves and solve them as grown up people. I believe that it would be more convenient to practice a romantic relationship research on married couples asking them about how they met, how they overcome their problems while they were just a couple, and what is their insight or perspective about romance now that they are adults. I bet these answers would be rich in wisdom.  

Becca_1_DQ3

I do not think that there is anything wrong with using college students as research for romantic relationships. I have seen many people find their true love during that time in their life, however, I do believe that the results will not be consistent. We don't know the truw intentions of people and why they date in college. It could be to find that one perfect person, but then again it could be to just have fun, or rebel against their parents wishes. 

One of the things that I find wrong with this question is the way it's stated. It talks about romantic relationships. The world has seemed to dilute the meaning behind romantic. I remember my parents telling me about their first date and how they got to know each other. I don't know if in our day and age we are truly worried about dating for marriage. Since college is such a huge transition now, I do not know if it would draw the best results. The stress of leaving home, becoming an adult, being responsible for your own work and more just seems to be a burden already. By the end of the day the romance that my parents took time to handle, would just be another stress factor. Or would it? Does the romantic relationships that develop trust and faith in each other take too much work? Do we seem to grow up too fast because it's easier?

Fernando_1_DQ3

College is a stage of big growth, for guys and girls.  Such an amazing time to learn more about ourselves, to discover who we really are, who we want to be, and how are we going to do to get there.  Because this is such a volatile stage for us, I believe that college kids should be used in research but not being the only group being analyzed, because I'd think that such results would not be very accurate for a little more generalized knowledge or a scholarly research. In my own experience I can say that I have changed a whole lot only in my freshman year, I went through some of the hardest times that I have ever been through, and I had to learn about so many things that before I was ignorant to. These changes came because of God's work in my life, and I know that many other of my friends went through so much just in the past year; I can say that I am not the same kid that got here a year ago, and I am sure I won't be the same guy that leaves this college in 3 years.  Researchers should have a control group that won't vary as much as college students will, in order to obtain veracious results.

Alix_1_DQ3

College-age students should not be used in research about romantic relationships. This is because upon entering college, most students are just gaining experience about what romance is. Usually, they have not been  exposed to romance and love in a deeper, more meaningful sense. A college student doesn't know the difference between love and lust a majority of the time and it can blind their sense of judgement. This lack of judgement would impair any research and invalidate it. If I had to give a good age to conduct research over romantic relationships it would be between the ages of 24-36 roughly. I feel this is the range where romance is abundant and can yield great results.

Mary_1_DQ3

College kids should be used in research but I don't think they should be the sole focus. Many college students are still on the path of discovering who they are and they frequently change their mind as their opinions and ideas change (as is evidenced by the changing of major in a vast majority of students). Many, not all, go through a variety of relationships while in college and each one varies as they try to discover what their true ideal partners' personality could actually be. If researchers wanted to achieve the best outcome they would need to use an array of people of all ages from numerous demographic backgrounds.

Mary_1_DQ1&2

One reason I believe that the divorce rate is higher in India than it is in America is because Americans "get tired" of one thing and move on to the next, not to mention that in India divorce is frowned upon and can produce many repercussions that fall back onto their family. One can't simply "opt out" of their marriage with ease. They must endure the shame and pay the price. Also, we mustn't forget that Americans have a lot more freedom of choice than those in India.

I am against arranged marriages. A parent may think they know what's best for their child, and in most case they do, however, sticking two people together isn't going to produce automatic happiness and joy. For the most part you should seek your parents approval, but I also believe their are cases where parental assent isn't needed. Although I am not currently in a relationship I have found, in the past, that my partner and I have shared many common things as well as many differences.

Melody_1_DQ3

I think that one of the major issues with using college-age students in research about romantic relationships is that most college students are still discovering their identities; many are figuring out their likes and dislikes, what they would like to do with their lives, and other things of that sort. In this phase of life, I feel that it is slightly difficult for college students to be certain on what they need and want in a partner. Many lack the maturity to think practically about traits that are important for their partner to have, and many lack to ability to think critically about whether they are truly compatible with their partner. College students tend to jump into romantic relationships solely on the basis of their emotions, which are mostly based on infatuation; because of this, many of the relationships are not very healthy or successful. Because of these reasons, I feel that it may be difficult for college students to be accurate in some of their responses in the research, making the overall results of the research inaccurate. Research also needs to cover a wider range of participants rather than being limited to just college students. Other demographics need to be taken into consideration for the results of the research to be valid and useful.

Naima_1_DQ3

What, if anything, is wrong with using college-aged students in research about romantic relationships?

First of all,  in order to have valid and reliable results from any research, it is necessary to have a wider pool of people from different ages and backgrounds. Therefore, by only including college-aged students, the results are not valid and may be biased.
Moreover, us, college students are at a stage of our lives where we are not very clear about how we feel and about the decisions that we are supposed to make. We are going through a process of finding ourselves and defining who we are. Therefore, we may not be very clear about our feelings towards our partners. We have emotions that we cannot yet control and we make lots of mistakes, which includes poor decisions about who we date and how we behave in a relationship.
By no means am I saying that college students should not be included in this kind of research, but that also people from different emotional stages should be included as well.

alex 1 DQ

The divorce rate in india is very low compered to the US because divorce is more accepted in the united states. In indea thing are very differint for instance marriage is more a serious matter and that is why most of there marriages are aranged by there famlys unlike in the US where people have more freedom in having relationships for example in the US you have the freedom to choose who you want to be with.

Cole_1_DQ3

There are several things wrong with using college-age students in research about romantic relationships. They do not accurately represent all ages that pursue romance. The values and traditions that people ages 18-23 practice are significantly different than those of the previous generations. Because the research conducted on them is sometimes a mandatory part of a college class, students can alter the statistics through lies out of spite. They do not for the most part have the wisdom or self-control to make intelligent decisions when it comes to love, and as the book states, young subjects of college age only represents a segment of about 5% of the life span. The very implications behind the name “student” indicate a different lifestyle than someone with a career, with kids, or retired. College students contain demographic similarities, which results in a frequent trend. With this in mind, the biggest weakness in using college-age students in research is that they only represent a small fragment of a diverse population, leaving the rest largely overlooked. All generations should be used in research if researchers expect to discover new and valuable information regarding relationships.

Madeleine_1_DQ1&2

Society in India is far different than in America on the subject of marriage and divorce. In India, most marriages are arranged by the parents. Some parents even marry off their children at the young age of fifteen. The parents in India sometimes marry off their child for more then just "wanting what is best." Some parents arrange the marriage of their child in exchange for some sort of payment (money, produce, protection, livestock, etc.) India has a vast quantity of poor citizens and many parents arrange their children's marriages to wealthier families hoping their child will live a better life. The Indian culture frowns heavily on divorce and shame will be brought upon the divorcees and their families. This is why I think the divorce rate in India is so low.

Meanwhile, in America...

Divorce is very common in America. In "the land of the free," we have a very large amount of freedom to do as we choose. This includes marrying at a young age. Many American teenagers get married to their high school sweet heart as soon as they graduate, some even before. They think they are "the one" and that they will be together forever. In your late teen years and early twenties, you are still trying to find yourself and discover who you really are. Who you were in high school may not be who you are in college. Also, Americans tend to rebel at a young age. They may date an "undesirable" through out their high school years and marry them against their parents' consent once they reach their 18th year. Sure, they may think they love him/her, but once they marry them and they grow out of their rebellious stage, they may then realize what mistake they have made with their "forbidden love." But, divorce does not only occur because of young foolishness. America is called "the land of opportunity" and it's citizenship is sought after by many natives of foreign lands. If a foreign person marries and American person, the foreign person then has the opportunity to become an American citizen. This happens quite often, and occasionally ends in divorce. Not all realize it, but some people marry for the wrong reason, and when they do realize it, try to end it fast.

Marriages should not be arranged by your parents, nor should they dictate who you do or do not become romantically involved with. However, you should think about what they tell you of their ideal son-in-law/daughter-in-law, but make your own decision on your ideal mate. Your parent's approval is very important. Just think about it, do you want to be in charge of financing your wedding without parent involvement and support? What about family holidays and reunions? As I said, you do not want your parents to disapprove of your boyfriend/girlfriend/future spouse, but, you do not want to let them dictate who you date/marry or it could possible end in divorce.

Alix_1_DQ2

Marriages should not be arranged by parents. Furthermore they shouldn't be mandated to have approval either. Freedom of choice is what this nation thrives on. Whether those choices are good or bad is for fate to decide and that is a whole other conversation. As I've stated before in a comment, America runs as a "fast food" society. Instant gratification is what we strive to have and without it, chaos finds its way into your life. Throughout my dating career, I've been in relationships of different races, religions, education, and origin. I have no fear of what society says a relationship needs to consist of and frankly it does not matter. Foundation and dedication is what it takes. With those two simple rules, any relationship, romatic or not, can prosper into wonderful successes.

Becca_1_DQ1&2

I believe that the divorce rate in India is much lower than in the United States because of the freedom that we have here. It is no joke that we as U.S. Citizens have much more freedom than we allow ourselves to believe, and divorce goes hand in hand with that.
I was raised in faith to believe that marriage is when you finally find your best friend. My youth minister has allowed me to discover who I am and grow in God, but I do also realize that I am growing to be my own person as well. I can have all of the help from my church, but ultimatly it lies between my choices and how far I let God's will go.
Even though India has arranged marriage, I don't believe that they don't love each other. It's almost like when I got here for college. I have a roommate that is the complete opposite of me in every way possible, but we still get along! Actually, we get along great! We were put into a position where we had to get to know each other or ignore the fun we could have. It seems that they get more of chance to fall in love with each other because the process of their parents choosing their mate is not by random selection, but instead by prayer and much thought.
It almost seems like a nightmare to me for my parents to pick my significant other just because we don't spend a lot of time together and they would probably be picking with selfish reasons, but I guess we really don't have to worry about that. I enjoy the freedom that college is giving me, allowing me to date openly and freely without anyone breathing down my back. Maybe our divorce rate is about that. Are we growing up too fast? Are we getting into something we aren't ready for? Does our freedom get to our head? Is marriage about love anymore?

Fernado_1_DQ

Culture, such an important factor for analyzing and judging a thought, idea, and/or value. We just can't oversee the fact that someone is from a specific region of the globe, without trying to be racist, but with an intent to go beyond what we can see, understanding that what they do or believe is okay to do, is because of the way they have been taught, which most of the times has to with the place they come from.
India has a way lower level of  divorce than many other countries, absolutely lower than the US' and I think this is caused, and I am only talking from what I have seen in the time I have to interact with Americans (16 years),  to a lack of commitment in the American culture. I believe that marriage is a commitment between a couple of individuals, and they should have
the right to have the ultimate decision, nevertheless that is what I have been taught
and I would like to have as my privilege before my parents. I acknowledge that there
may be other people that consider my posture quite radical, because somehow it tends to
undervalue the parents' opinion. But I would also like to say that for me family is
of utmost importance, they are a very relevant part of my life and therefore their advice
will be taken into serious consideration when my decision for marriage comes before me.
I know that there are several differences between cultures, and even more between family
types, where what a family teaches may be usual and logical to its members, but for another family that way of thinking could just be seen as wrong and out of place, probably if they have an specific religion they could even believe that the other family is sinning because of their way of teaching; point being, there are different cultures and to come up with a definitive answer is almost impossible, since the repercussions are many, and it is too broad to generalize.
Nonetheless, I believe that marriage should definitely be approved by parents, again this is because of the way I have been taught and also because of my christian beliefs.  The main reason why I believe that parents should approve a marriage for it to happen, is because I believe that the parents' blessing is necessary for a good marriage, because despite the fact that a marriage is between a couple, a marriage brings two families together, may this be only by joining the school received at home by each one of the spouses, and by bringing the actual families to contrast and interact.  In my own personal opinion, I pray that God will give my parents the wisdom to know if the woman that I want to marry is the woman that I should, because I acknowledge that I am naive sometimes, and that I sometimes let my heart drive my decisions without filtering everything through the teachings I've received by my parents and in church.
Overall, I think that this topic is very important because I think that sometimes our youth and rebellious self may want to be going against the authority that our parents represent, and start making decisions way ahead of time without even really knowing what we want, or without acknowledging what we really need.

Annabel_1_DQ1&2

In India there are arranged marriages because it’s how they keep their families within the same religion and ethnicity. For them divorce is something that culturally is not accepted; even if it does happen people do not like it. Even though the parents are looking out for their children by finding them what the family considers to be the right spouse, parents are not necessarily looking for compatibility of love for their children. In the United States we pride ourselves with having the freedom to choose who we want to marry and love. This way couples are able to find someone to marry. So why is the U.S. divorce rate 50% over India when we can find someone who we actually like? I think sometimes with freedom to do what you want, people can decide if they want to marry someone one day and then divorce the next, and it is accepted. And that turns marriage into something that is not very special. If I left it up to my parents to pick me a husband, I might not be very happy. Even though parents are the people who raised you, I don’t think it is right for anyone to choose someone else’s relationship. I think everyone has a right to make their own choices in a relationship whether they are good or bad. I think personal decisions should be made by that person and no one else. Personally, I would like my parent’s approval for my relationship and I think it’s nice to have that approval because it lets people know that they are making a good choice. In my personal relationship for the past 3 years we have been mostly long distance because of where we have decided to go for college. However, we have been able to make it work because we have similar interests, thoughts, and understanding for each other. So when it comes down to it I think that’s what makes my relationship work.

Cole_1_DQ1&2

The United States maintains a significantly higher divorce rate than that of India. The freedom to choose a spouse is an ideal primarily put into practice within the United States, and it is because of this that the notion of arranged marriages (which seems to yield successful marriages in India) has returned to the spotlight as a plausible path to a successful family. However, it would be impractical to claim that arranged marriages are the ultimate solution to marital problems. Divorce rates are nothing more than a statistic. The United States is a world power, and India can arguably be categorized as a third or second world country. There is a wide gap in the amount of problems between the two countries, a natural result of the United States surpassing India's GDP by about 13 trillion dollars (as of 2011). With less money, India's citizens cannot afford to throw away someone who could constitute as "useful." Furthermore, divorce rates do not account for deaths, marrital desertions, and other problems that frequent less wealthy countries. But the economical distinction between countries is not the only significant difference between the United States and India; religion has long dictated the actions of a vast number of people. Hinduism is the primary religion of India, and its followers do not wish to feel the stab of karma for defiling a marriage. Christianity is the primary religion of the United States; though it too states that divorce is wrong, the primary tenet of most Christian believers is to acknowledge sins and believe in the salvation granted through Jesus Christ in order to earn eternal life. When eternal life has already been granted, there is not as much pressure for Christians to act in fear that their actions will return to haunt them. Despite India's marriage success rate, marriages should not be dictated by a parent's whims. Humans will never be perfect, and there is no reason to believe that the judgment of a father might prove less faulty than the judgment of a son. However, the wisdom and experience that comes with time is an asset that parents possess more of than their children, making marriage consultation a smart strategy. Approval should not necessarily be required, but it should not be necessary for two lovers who are comfortable sharing one another's presence with the world. Sadly, parents will not always approve, but their children are obligated to at least attempt to win approval. An effort must be made in order to overcome differences in any relationship situation, regardless of if it is romantic or simply social. As a United States citizen, I have had unlimited freedom when it comes to choosing a partner, but I am a slave to the tastes of society. Race, socioeconomic standing, and locale of origin have never been obstacles for me in today's modern-minded world, but I am still limited in options (primarily religion and education) because the only women I have frequent interaction with are similar in their mindset as me. Belize is the furthest any girl I have talked to has originated from, though I met her while I was there on a mission trip. Location is not a barrier in this Internet savvy world, but it is an inconvenience to impatient people. http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NY.GDP.MKTP.CD < Information regarding the GDP of various countries.

Christian_1_DQ1&2

Just like the book explains, different cultures have different views regarding life events such as marriage and divorce.  I believe one of the reasons why divorce rates are so low in India is because divorce is socially and culturally unacceptable. Given the fact that marriages are arranged by parents, if someone were to divorce from their partners, they would be facing rejection from their families; from which it can be inferred that if the marriage is not prosperous, for the most part, there is no other choice but to stick with it. On the contrary, people are free to express their feelings and marry whoever they want, and in this case, I think one of the reasons why divorce rates are so high in the United States is because people do not want to feel like their freedom is being taken away from them. Fortunately and unfortunately, marriage is not seen so badly in the Western world as it is in the Eastern world. I say fortunately because if you encounter that your marriage is not what you expected and find yourself with a bad partner, there is a remedy for it and you do not have to be stuck with someone; though, I say unfortunately because divorce has made marriage seem like a less serious process. Since you can always divorce your partner if the relationship does not work out, marriage has been taken less seriously with time. 

I think that marriages should not be arranged by parents, however I do believe that there needs to be parental approval in that relationship. After all, individuals are in search of the fulfillment of the seven provisions of relationship, which is something that has to be sought individually; thus, since the individual needs to feel the sense of belonging with the family, there needs to be approval to maintain all relationships in balance. Freedom of choice in a romantic relationship is partly influenced by what it is seen with ones parents as the individual grows up, part of what they teach you about relationships, and part of what you learn on your own as you grow older; therefore it is not entire freedom. I do not think race, socioeconomic standing, and locale of origin are a big deal when it comes to falling in love.

Melody_1_DQ1&2

I think that the divorce rate in India is so much lower compared to that of the United States because Indians have a high degree of respect for the constitution of marriage. They appear to view marriage as a commitment between two people that is to be honored and valued, not simply broken whenever the couple wishes to. I think that Indians also have a high degree of respect for their parents who arrange the marriage. To get a divorce is to go against the authority of the parents, which is highly disrespectful, especially in that culture. Getting a divorce would also reflect very negatively not only on the couple but on both of the individuals' families. It is likely that getting a divorce would jeopardize the reputation of both families. On the other hand, because marriages in the United States are not arranged, there is no concern about being disrespectful to parents. The higher divorce rate in the United States may also be an issue of values. Commitment may be of less importance to Americans compared to Indians, which means that vows and promises that are made in the marriage are much easier broken. In addition, it is also possible that due to the already high divorce rate in the United States, couples believe that it is simply normal to get a divorce if they do not wish to be together anymore. There is no pressure to maintain the marriage because there are so many other people who do not do so.

I do not think that marriages should be arranged by parents; however, I do believe that it is important that marriage is approved by parents. I think that parents know what is best for their children; if they raised their own children, they are probably the ones who know their children best, which gives them wisdom on who would be suitable for their children. I also believe that the approval of parents is important to maintain harmony within a family. If parents dislike or disapprove of the partner that their child has chosen, it is highly likely that there would be a high degree of tension in the family, which I believe is to be avoided. I have definitely been given the freedom of choice by my parents in my romantic choices. My parents allow me to choose who I want to date. This does not mean that they do not voice out their opinions, as I always seek their approval in this matter, but they trust me to make my own choices as they realize that I am old enough to do so. I am currently single, but my previous partner was Caucasian in contrast to my Asian ethnicity. We were of the same religion, but we differed in our socioeconomic standing, education, and locale of origin. Before meeting, which was before I came to the United States to further my education, we were approximately 10,000 miles apart, as I lived in Malaysia, and he lived in the United States.

DJ_1_DQ1&2

     Between the laws, traditions and individual beliefs of families, there is no surprise that the divorce rate is down in India. In fact some families take it so far that to break a marriage or to refuse the parents orders in terms of whom to marry.  Can result in death, dishonor upon the family and individual, and other varying consequences. On the other hand in the United States consequences such as death and torture are outlawed therefore there is less to fear for a child who goes against the wishes of their parents. America also has freedoms that are not seen in certain cultures and governments. Women in America are seen as equals and not as just household items.






     I believe that parents should not arrange marriages, but are entitled to their own opinions as to whom their child  should marry. Even though I believe that they are entitled to their opinions I also believe an ndividual has the God-given right to choose their partner for the rest their lives in some cases disregarding the parents opinions. In my personal romantic experiences I found that I for the most part had total control and at this point I am single  by choice coming out of high school and hope to find someone in the near future.

Gabriella_1_DQ1&2

I believe divorce rate in India is lower compared to the States because in India divorce is still a major social taboo and divorce seekers have to undergo several ordeals in order to get separated from each other. In addition, women never really had a choice and grew up in a submissive manner, so it would be very difficult to change their mentality and rebel against society rules.  However, USA is the land of freedom and opportunities. This fact grants people with freedom of speech and many rights which let them decide on their own, so they feel free to marry and divorce whoever whenever. It is all a matter of culture and moral standards. I believe marriages should not be arranged by parents because in most cases their offspring might experience stress and pressure that will force them to make a decision they will regret the rest of their lives. A forced marriage will result in a divorce, if not worst. Many couples have problems that lead to domestic or psychological violence. Parents think that making decision about marriage is the most important one in life; therefore, they should help their offspring to make a conscious one to gain a happy family in the future. However, they should not force them in their decision but advise them what is best since they are more experienced. It is always nice to know that the parents approve a relationship or marriage because it will definitely be very uncomfortable to feel disapproval when the couple attends a familiar event. Parental approval is important but not essential. I know I would not be able to have a long successful relationship with somebody that my parents do not approve because negative comments will arise frequently and it could even end up in a fight. My parents did not like the idea of me having a boyfriend until I was 16, but I think they have been very comprehensive and respectful with my romantic choices. I do follow advice because I have learned that for some reason my mom is always right. Currently, I do not have a boyfriend, but my last one was Honduran and Christian like me. He had a pretty good social-economic standing, but I am a step ahead in education because I am bilingual, and he only speaks Spanish. We met at church, and he lives 15 minutes (driving) away from me.

Anne_1_DQ1&2

In India, parents arrange the marriage for their children because they know that the person who they pick out for their children is the perfect choice and could give them a better future. This is because in India they have a different version of relationships. The United States has a greater divorce rate because people do not know what they want and decide that they are not happy with the person they married because they express their freedom of choice.

Marriages should not be arranged only because the person that your parents want to arrange as your partner may not be the person you want to marry, and not be happy with the marriage. Parents should approve the partner only because they want to know if their child is being taken care of when they are not around and to know if their child is happy. My romantic choices are very free because I’m trying to find a guy that will make me happy and not what anyone else wants. My partner is very different because opposites attract. You learn new things when your partner tells you new and exciting things.

Naima_1_DQ1&2

In India there are many laws that people have to abide to, which include the Dharma. People in India believe that marriage, more than being something that has been arranged, is a sacred commandment that lasts for many lives. Therefore, a married couple may reincarnate into a higher or lower level being and still meant to be married. Hence, they seem to show more respect towards the vows of marriage. On the other hand, because in the United States and other American countries, we have been granted so much freedom and so many rights, that we tend to believe that we can do whatever we want. There is no longer a sense of respect and commitment towards the spouse. Besides, pop culture has has a tremendous influence over the lives of young adults and adolescents. Kids, nowadays, may see that marriages between famous people only last a couple of months; therefore, it is seen as being okay.

I don't think that marriages should be arranged by parents because a marriage should be based on the compatibility and love that two individuals have towards each other. Even though in India the divorce rate is so low, this does not necessarily mean that the couple is happy. I do believe, on the other hand, that parents should approve marriages. In order to live in harmony there must be acceptance from the parents. Some people tend to say that as long as the two of them love each other, they'll be fine. I do not believe that's completely true. Some problems may arise in the future that could be avoided before hand. It may take a while before the parents aprove of the relationship, but it is worth the wait.

I have a boyfriend and we're both from Nicaragua, so we're both hispanics. I am Baptist and he is Catholic, but so far, that has not been an issue for our relationship. On the other hand, it has made us find a common ground , which is our love for God. We come from somewhat similar socioeconomic backgrounds, and above all, we share the same values. He graduated from Ozarks two years ago, and I will soon graduate as well. Before meeting, we lived 45 minutes away from each other.

Corey Pintado_1_DQ1&2

I believe that the reason that divorce rate is lower in India than in the US is because people in India realize the truth that if they divorce, it will look bad and they will not get another shot. They realize their position and then communicate effectively and actually learn to love one another so they may live 'happy' lives. In the US, people are free to choose who they are with, even if they are already with someone. Due to this fact, people in the US can roam and marry whoever without consequence. This makes divorce way more probable in the US as the statistics show.

I believe that parents should not arrange marriages. The reason is because it makes an otherwise free person feel trapped. It makes one want to bust out and rebel, especially when romance is involved. I believe that a parent should have approval rights on marriages though. The marriage should still continue with disapproval if the person still wants to be with the other, but they parents' say should have weight. I feel in my current romantic choice, I have all the freedom in the world, but I still seek for my parents' approval. It is important part of who I am. My partner is much like me in personality traits, but is simply not as loud or talkative. The longest we've been away from one another is 3 weeks.

Alix__1__DQ1

The divorce rate is remarkably higher in the United States compared to India because of two main factors, law and culture. In India, arranged marriages are the norm compared to that of the United States where, when of legal age, anyone is free to marry or conduct relations with any other human of age. When marriages are arranged, the couple has their entire childhood to grow up and to become fond with their counterpart. Years of hard work are spent on building the relationship to reach maximum satisfaction between both parties. While in America, the average time between dating, engagement, and marriage is significantly shorter. This absence of time lost can cause friction and disturbances in the future. Americans tend to fall to lust rather than deep, meaningful, passionate love. Culture also plays an important part in the divorce rate in both contries. The people of India are cultually strict and many rights of woman are non existant. Americans tend to be quite more relaxed culturally and spiritually.

Alix_Tiegs

PS: I don't know if this is formatted correctly.

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